Anna,

Section 12b of HSX in Compuserve certainly played a key role in the burgeoning of the internet as a meeting-ground for kinkfolk, prior to any widespread websurfing ( -- or even any provision for websurfing included in the standard Windows software of the '90s). I came into 12b in 1995, opening up to the new medium of online posting at the same time that I opened up to my new identity as a dom and sadist.

Back then, entrance to 12b required a "signed" statement that BDSM was some kind of essential element of my sexuality. A strangely symbolic statement which felt like a commitment -- impossible to enforce, difficult even to interpret, but representing a memorable warning of the seriousness of this subculture in the eyes of its members.

By 1997 my 12b involvement was slowly beginning to wane. But by then I had learned all sorts of stuff:

(1) The amalgamation "BDSM" does not actually mean that "D/s" is at all similar to "S/M", and the two may or may not be pursued by the same people. In fact, either of the two may be actually scorned by different kinkfolk.

(2) Despite that fact, all kinkfolk have in common the tendency to be obsessed with issues of power, making it difficult for them to hear what you're saying sometimes, unless you have first kissed their ass.

(3) Online posting is its own skill, and some of the technically best writers may turn out to know surprisingly little about anything. One of the wittiest contributors to
the 12b board, who subsequently opened his own website named after it, turned out to be not only mostly-blind but also agoraphobic: meaning, he not only couldn't meet people in 3D, he didn't *want to*.

(4) Despite that fact, eventually it felt to me like it was the munches that were the backbone of 12b. Unlike other ephemeral internet contacts, 12b people actually knew each other physically. It gave the whole thing substance. And I still feel that way.

(5) BDSM is a state of mind, not a social skill. I know it *should be* a social skill, since it usually involves two or more people in cooperation. But in practice, we saw members of 12b who were close to pathologic in their inability to carry on
civilized conversations. One woman literally couldn't keep herself from trying to hurt everyone she contacted. Hurt them verbally I mean, hurt their feelings: an odd form of LDR sadism where you have to imagine all the pain you're causing.

We also had members who were too good for us, or too good for any social grouping. One sadodom kept trying to instruct the rest of us on how we should train ourselves for the practice of kink, even going so far as to hold several days of classes and demos in the San Francisco area for all 12b members. Eventually he threw up his hands at the futility of trying to teach us idiots anything, and left us (presumably to be swallowed up in the mass crowd.)

(6) Despite that fact, the most common charge leveled against the section was not that we were a fractious bitchy bunch of arguers, but rather the contrary: that we were a closed clique of buddies all busily stroking each other, and much too devoted to a "kind and gentle" philosophy. We ended up notorious for being the kind and gentle sadomasochists. I didn't know what the hell that meant, then, and I still don't.

For me, 12b felt like a family, and when it dissipated it felt like all the members of my family weredispersing and not paying so much as a backward glance. Since then, I've realized that it's in the nature of internet posting, as a medium, to feel like you're conversing with intimates. Don't you feel like you know me already, at least a little?, just from what I've written here? . . .

. . . to quote Captain Tenniel on the TV series "MXC" (on Thursday nights on the Spike channel) (the most brilliant and profound TV series since "The Family Guy"), "Well, you're wrong!"


-- Adrian

Midear Anna-

I refer to 12b so often in my conversation that my friends believe it to be some utopian delusion resulting from my recent medical troubles.

I'd say my all time favorite thread was M.RonK's 'into the sunset', which, as I recall, ran for six months of M.Ron saying 'one more thing...' and then "now I really am leaving".

my Favorite munch story is tied between lassoing Mischa in Hellfire NYC (it was our first meeting, and friends were in the middle of cautioning her to take it slow when my line fell gently over her head and snugged up around her neck...), and introducing Milord A. and Milord K. (who'd been fueding online, and where standing next to each other at Sinbad's on the Wharf in SF, not know how the other was).

I miss Kisa. I miss Gwen. I miss, most of all, the man we all miss- The utterly improbable, verifiably fantastic Duncan. I miss M.Ron and Dixie. I miss Milady C., and Milady L. (that's her right up there) and Milady B. and all my those who showed me the grandmotherly kindness that I was so undeserving of. I even miss Jen, who missed me when she threw my collar at me<g>.

Imiss calling everyone Milord,Milady, and midear and miboy...

But I still, always, end my posts/emails with

Stay warm,
Lawrence

Oh damn.

Tess! I miss her like mad. and Ed, and everyone.

Stay warm,
Lawrence

Three words - The Shopping Trip <g>. For anyone who wasn't around when I made my debut three plus years ago, in a nutshell, following a munch set up so I could meet the local gang, we headed off to Mr. S where Paul and Bret proceded to steer me around introducing me to darn near everything in the store. I had my first tastes of a flogger, a violet wand, and knife play - yum! Then Bret and I went off to Stormy Leather where I tried on some things and we talked endlessly while parading me around the store scantily clad in full leathers, gigantically tall shoes, and my arms tied behind my back with the corset strings.

As a total newbie, I celebrated my 45th birthday at C's house, and Paul gave me my very first spanking ever.

I not only met some people I very much enjoy socializing with when we have the chance, but I met my first dom there. And I'm very, very grateful for the wonderful education everyone gave me, and for their putting up with me for so long <g>.

Wendy