My friends-

Chirstmas eve, 1995, was one of the lowest points in my life, and I spent it in the chat room at HSX with Kisa and Brenda, who were also alone and feeling blue.

I was one of those epic, rambling chats, that is almost as good as a face to face, with three people trusting strangers as they wouln't or couldn't trust friends, and at one point we all agreed that the most important thing was that we stayed warm, kept our hearts working, and didn't shut off inside.

I wrote this peom that night- it's the best thing I have ever written:

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In this world so far from whole,
in time coldness 'comes the norm.
But there are those who nurture their soul,
and more, over time, become warm.

All are taught the same lessons,
all are marked by the knife.
Some turn cold as Hessians,
some learn warmth and light.

I traveled in a distant land,
where none could speak my name.
Illuminated by a proffered hand,
I saw at once we were the same.

Sorrow falls from her fingers,
into the keys and away.
Returns as phosphor and lingers,
From those who feel the same way.

When they've discounted all you've done,
and mean to do you harm,
remember you're not the only one,
hang onto your heart, and stay warm.

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May all your holidays bring you joy

Stay warm,
Lawrence